I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
