you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
