Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
