Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
