I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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