how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
