so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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