i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
