oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
