It's like God shit irony all over that family
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
