I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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