We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
