She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
