Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I hope mine doesn't look like that
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
