I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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