He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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