Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
