Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
