Apparently you make a good broom.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
