butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
