If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize