put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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