Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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