Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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