Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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