It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize