Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize