cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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