so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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