one two three fourrrrnication!
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
