Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
