I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
