Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
this will be a night to untag.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
