Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
