Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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