I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
