There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
