Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
