the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
