What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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