oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize