I'm gonna have a badass scar
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
