I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
