i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
