If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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