i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
