you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
