apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
