You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
