Non-Jews are for practice
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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