so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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