Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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