i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
