what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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