He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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