i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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