Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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