pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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