Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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