you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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